Puspa's story
I am a mom to five children. Three of them are adults now. The last two, one is 17 and one is 11. The 11-year-old, Samuel, he has high functioning autism and ADHD. He was born 3 months preemie.
So the average day is dependent on whether he's physically ill, or sometimes he has meltdowns. So when he does, I have to go pick him up and bring him home and make sure that he's okay.
Firstly I just want to say how grateful I am for Carer Gateway. From the time I picked up the phone and spoke to them, to getting the assistance I required and more, they spoke to me genuinely. They made me feel like a human being and not just a number. They ensured that my kids had counselling. They made sure that the kids had the support they needed.
The advice to other unpaid carers is you're not alone. Through Carer Gateway, I have found my tribe of fellow carers. The benefits of accessing counselling support is for starters, a positive mindset for me.
My fears, my frustrations, my anxieties, they were so highly elevated until I rang Carer Gateway and spoke to the counselling service. By the time I finished, I was in a better frame of mind. I have learned how to take care of myself, picking up on their strategies on some of their suggestions on what they do.
So one of the things that I have done for my self-care, I prioritise time. We have a thing in our house that we say, we turn stumbling blocks to stepping stones. So one of the stumbling blocks that I encountered was trying to be on time to pick my children up from school. The stepping stone is I now go early to the school, park the car about half an hour, get myself a juice box or coffee and a magazine, and read a magazine. That's my time for myself, and also getting a good parking spot. I volunteer at various organizations. I also teach self-defence. I teach martial arts. I've got quite a few black belts, but they help hold my pants up more to say, but with self-defence too, not only am I empowering others, it's also empowering me.
So my advice to other carers is, pick up the phone, call up Carer Gateway, because we are your tribe. You'll find your tribe, cause I found mine.
Meet Puspa
Puspa, 51, is a single mum to five children including 11-year-old Samuel who has obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Samuel’s condition requires extra care and attention from Puspa and the family.
With children ranging in age from 11 to 30, Puspa leads a busy life and also finds time to support members of her community in Burnie, Tasmania, where her volunteer work includes helping people with mental health challenges.
A lifetime of caregiving
Puspa has been a carer most of her life. From a very young age, she helped care for her mother, who has a mental health condition.
As an adult, after losing a loved one, Puspa decided she needed to spend more time helping others. She now balances being a mum, caring for Samuel as well as volunteering as a support worker for people with mental health challenges. She helps community members who need assistance with activities such as grocery shopping, preparing meals, taking medication, and bathing.
Puspa lives with multiple sclerosis, which she says is currently under control but at one stage significantly limited her mobility. At that time, Puspa’s children helped to care for her.
Puspa says being a carer can be demanding but is also very rewarding. ‘Look around: people are alone and isolated and if we can do our bit to help them, whether it's paid or unpaid caring, there is nothing as rewarding.’
Self-care
Puspa knows that with a hectic daily schedule, she needs to take time for herself
Once a week she volunteers as a karate instructor for disadvantaged children: ‘This is one of my self-care routines to keep myself fit while I pay back to the community.’
She also likes to walk the family’s 11-year-old dog, which is blind and deaf, and jokes that she combats stress by venting to her dog about her problems.
‘It’s important we take time out for ourselves,’ says Puspa. ‘I drive to my kids' school ahead of time every day and wait in the car with a pack of juice for them and for myself while I read my favourite magazine.’
Support from Carer Gateway
Puspa relies on a range of services and supports offered by Carer Gateway, from free counselling and skills courses, to respite care.
She regularly uses the counselling service, saying: ‘Sometimes when I’m having a bad time, I give them a call and ask if I can talk to someone to help me get through my day.’
‘As carers, it’s hard to find time for ourselves,’ she adds, ‘but Carer Gateway has helped me be kind to myself. I have had the opportunity to get some time off with planned respite services, have a peaceful meal or go to a movie - something I could never have thought of until I was introduced to Carer Gateway.’
‘If it wasn’t for Carer Gateway I wouldn’t be where I am today,’ she says. ‘I'm so grateful that I've got an opportunity to contribute as a human being to care for others, because I'm being cared for by myself.’
