Real life story – carer for mum
Sierra: My name is Sierra. I’m 24 years old. I live in Bathurst. I’m a proud Wiradjuri woman.
I’ve been a carer since I was 9 years old. I originally shared a caring role with my elder sister but I’ve been the sole carer for several years now.
I get up nice and early, get my mum up and out of bed, help her with breakfast and medication. As her memory has started to decrease, I help her. Just little reminders for little things that we take for granted, you know: got to go the toilet after you wake up in the morning, make your bed, get dressed.
I sit her down, get her breakfast, make a tea or coffee and then, get myself dressed and ready for the day. I often have classes, up at the university, so I’ll head off to Uni. Often I’ll have mum with me and there’s a centre at the uni where she can spend her time while I’m in classes and they can keep an eye on her for me.
I check on mum periodically throughout my day and then when I am finished, I go and collect her and we head home. I will make dinner, get mum all sorted with her medication and then, sit down and get some homework done, after dinner. And then, I start it all over again.
The challenges come in a lot of different forms, from not being able to be as free with your social life as other young people and not being able to take opportunities when they present to you. You know, you can’t go away on internships because who’s going to look after them while you’re gone and mum doesn’t feel comfortable with other people coming in when she’s not feeling her best.
I heard about Carer Gateway through the TV and Centrecare Wilcannia – Forbes. (I wanted) to seek help and see if there was anything that Carer Gateway could help with that maybe Centrecare could not. I was lucky enough to match with my caseworker, Stacey and we get along really well. She’s been able to help me with a lot of things, which I really appreciated.
Carer Gateway has been able to support me with things around the house. Even if you think you don’t need help with anything, just having someone there to chat who understands and is happy to talk is incredibly helpful. They may recognise that you need help with something that maybe you didn’t notice you were struggling with.
Stacey has been invaluable in helping me set up my aged care and help guide mum through the process in a way that respects her wishes while also giving me the support that I need.
I found that Carer Gateway is incredibly culturally appropriate. They are very understanding of my own cultural needs, how important it is for me to be involved in my local community and my local mob. I spend a lot of time with the local aboriginal community, going back to the roots of where I come from and where I want to go with my life.
When our mob is strong, we are strong. Reach out to Carer Gateway.
I’m a proud Wiradjuri woman, living on Country (Bathurst) and I’m the sole carer for my mum. Her illness impacts her physically and mentally, and she often doesn’t feel comfortable or safe leaving the house. I’m a young woman and I’ve cared for my mum most of my life.
Being a carer is part of who I am and caring for family is a big part of my culture.
My typical day changes depending on how mum is coping with her pain. Some days she needs me to do almost everything for her, but other days she is quite independent. I usually help her get ready for the day, drive her to any appointments, and do the cooking and chores around the house. Most days I don’t have lunch because there’s lots to do and not enough time. I always take an hour or so to sit with mum so that she has some social interaction. In the evening I try to take some time to relax and have some ‘me time’ where I read, do homework or watch TV, but I’m always keeping an ear out if mum needs my help. During the night I’m often up with mum multiple times checking that she’s OK and helping her with anything she needs.
I don’t feel like a normal young person, I have a lot of challenges other people my age don’t have. I’ve had to put off a lot of education, I don’t date and when I do go out with friends, it requires a lot of consideration and planning to make sure mum will be alright.
I also struggle with balancing caring for mum, studying and working. Most carers can understand that you don’t have time to wallow, you just keep going.
Despite the challenges, I enjoy having a closer relationship with mum. I’m great at teamwork and time management, and I’ve gained lots of helpful life skills like cooking, cleaning and paying bills, which I’m often teaching my friends how to do.
'I don’t feel like a normal young person, I have a lot of challenges other people my age don’t have. I’ve had to put off a lot of education, I don’t date and when I do go out with friends, it requires a lot of consideration and planning to make sure mum will be alright.'
Growing up being a carer meant I withdrew a lot, which started taking a large toll on my mental and physical health. I was scared to ask for help and felt like it was hard to approach new services because I would have to tell my story over and over again. Thankfully, my sister reached out for help for me and there was more support available than I had ever realised. I now know that no one is going to judge me if I’m struggling and that everyone’s welcome and deserving of support, no matter who they are or their level of caring.
Through Carer Gateway, I have connected with a case worker who I see as a great support and friend. She rings and checks in with me every couple of weeks, or more often if she knows I’m having a hard time. It was daunting to tell Carer Gateway my story, but I only had to say it once. My information is now kept on file and I don’t have to repeat it every time I need support. I often encourage my friends who are also carers to reach out to Carer Gateway because it’s helped me in many ways.
My connection to culture also supports me, and my community is like a big extended family around me. They’re always happy to help and show me I’m not alone, and that I’ve got this.
Carer Gateway delivers services in your local area and is there to support me and anyone caring for someone in their family or community.
If you need help you can call Carer Gateway or visit the website to get free and easily accessible support, find practical information, develop skills and improve your social and emotional wellbeing.
'Through Carer Gateway, I have connected with a case worker who I see as a great support and friend. She rings and checks in with me every couple of weeks, or more often if she knows I’m having a hard time. It was daunting to tell Carer Gateway my story, but I only had to say it once.'
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